I think this post was the most beautiful I have ever read. Whether our earthly father did not measure up to these standards, know that our heavenly one does. Thank you, so much!
"My father had other things to do, and I only saw him in spurts of visitation. I cannot say what it is that I missed, but I know how to carry her. And it is in giving that we are made whole."
The popular or proverbial saying is we parent as we had been parented. Put another way - one cannot give what one does not have.
When we get to mid-life, we start to see what our fathers (parents) did not have when they were children / youngsters, and from there we develop a kind of empathy or understanding for them. It wasn't that there was something wrong or lacking with us, as children. Nor was it the case that there was something wrong or lacking with them, as children. Something (or someone else) was visited upon them, just as it got visited on us; they were just the agent or conduit.
How do we get out of this loop?
How do we patch the deficits so we stop passing them on?
(My lamentations. Not expecting any "fix it" answers.)
Strider, Let us lament together, without blame or need for understanding. We are all wounded healers who cannot fully, as you tenderly say, "patch the deficits." But we can limp along in love and try slowly to free our selves. Or allow ourselves to be freed, so we can reflect what we see dimly in the mirror.
You are just lamenting the right thing, Strider. And it is the work of a life time :-). Therefore I love Kierkegaard’s saying here so much. That we all have an idea of a Divine father or mother, a deep archetype, we all share, some Divine qualities which we can emulate. I think this might be the best way out of what feels too burdensome from our own upbringing.
amen but when our second daughter was born and was so clearly different from the first from the very beginning I realized there were biological genetic contributions that were important and baked in - so I couldn't blame myself for everything lol.
I think this post was the most beautiful I have ever read. Whether our earthly father did not measure up to these standards, know that our heavenly one does. Thank you, so much!
Virgina, my thanks for your reaction. Once you have seen the real vision, you can find its mirrored image in even the most distant reflection.
lovely said, Virginia, thank you.
"My father had other things to do, and I only saw him in spurts of visitation. I cannot say what it is that I missed, but I know how to carry her. And it is in giving that we are made whole."
The popular or proverbial saying is we parent as we had been parented. Put another way - one cannot give what one does not have.
When we get to mid-life, we start to see what our fathers (parents) did not have when they were children / youngsters, and from there we develop a kind of empathy or understanding for them. It wasn't that there was something wrong or lacking with us, as children. Nor was it the case that there was something wrong or lacking with them, as children. Something (or someone else) was visited upon them, just as it got visited on us; they were just the agent or conduit.
How do we get out of this loop?
How do we patch the deficits so we stop passing them on?
(My lamentations. Not expecting any "fix it" answers.)
Strider, Let us lament together, without blame or need for understanding. We are all wounded healers who cannot fully, as you tenderly say, "patch the deficits." But we can limp along in love and try slowly to free our selves. Or allow ourselves to be freed, so we can reflect what we see dimly in the mirror.
You are just lamenting the right thing, Strider. And it is the work of a life time :-). Therefore I love Kierkegaard’s saying here so much. That we all have an idea of a Divine father or mother, a deep archetype, we all share, some Divine qualities which we can emulate. I think this might be the best way out of what feels too burdensome from our own upbringing.
How blessed Hannah is to have such a father.
thanks for sharing this Chuck. you are a loving father and Hannah will know that in her bones
My thanks, Jim. One sees, of course, mostly ones failures and shortcomings. But accepting those is also part of the path.
amen but when our second daughter was born and was so clearly different from the first from the very beginning I realized there were biological genetic contributions that were important and baked in - so I couldn't blame myself for everything lol.
Love that, Jim.