The 4th Day of Christmas. Leaning into our sorrows.

Finding the holy child in the rubble. A heartfelt song and invitation to lament without despairing.

Sorrows and joy intermingle. Photo: A Furchert

Dear fellow traveler,

This reflection for today is brief but not easy. It invites you into the most urgent movement of your heart. It invites you to listen and to meditate. A healer is born unto us, and healin’ ain’t gonna come easy.

Yesterday I wrote about Mary and Joseph and Hildegard’s allegory of the soul. Today I meant to continue the train of thought leading us to the Jesus baby and the meaning it stands for.

And then I see a picture of a father carrying his dead child out from under the rubble.

“We are angry

we are broken

this should have been a time of joy

instead we are mourning

we are fearful…”

said the reverent Munther Isaac in his Christmas sermon in Bethlehem.¹

How long, oh God, must this last? Where is Christmas in Bethlehem this year?

Yesterday evening we had a good friend over for pizza and spiced wine. And she shared her heartbreak as a Jewish American to see Gaza suffer. She carried the horror as well as the guilt of her own people. We shared in the pain which was so palpable at our table. And then I felt all of you with us at this table. Holding the pain together. And finding the the holy child in the rubble.

I had chosen for this year’s Christmas journey the motto “reclaiming joy.” But how can we sing songs of joy in the face of this horror and tragedy every day?

Re-claiming joy, dear friend, must start with recognizing and leaning into our sorrows, the pain of this world and our own hearts intertwined. Kierkegaard called Job the greatest teacher. Why? Because Job knew how to lament.

So lament, dear friend. Write your own psalm of lamentation this Christmas season. And if you wish, share it with us walking along side you.

But how do I do this without despairing? you might ask.

Below I offer you a heartfelt form and song to carry your lament. Because lament is not despair. Lament gives words to our sorrows and thus starts the grieving process needed to heal - our heart and this world.

Holding our sorrows into Christmas

I remember a Christmas several years ago when a good friend visited. We sat in the sitting room, sipping spiced wine listening to Bach. Do you know Bach’s Christmas oratorio?, I asked him. Yes, I do, but this is his Passion oratorio, isn’t it? he said. After my first embarrassment I noticed. Of course it is the Passion. I had sung both many times. And still, somehow, unconsciously, I chose to listen to the Passion oratorio that Christmas season.

And this is the point. In the church year and in our heart, Christmas and Passion are not strangers to one another. And JS Bach has shown this beautifully as both works complement each other. They need each other – both hold each other in existential embrace. In both movements, new life breaks through in the depth of the night.

Today I invite you to lean into this double movement of transformation, the mystery of holy birth, when sorrows and joy intermingle. That is, when the holy makes her dwelling place in us. Therefore, Christmas carols are made to move our hearts. When the light goes out and Silent Night is sung, even the hardest heart softens a little. And those who grieve can turn their stagnant sorrow into flowing lament.

The German song “Maria durch ein Dornwald ging” came to me when I googled for another one. But this melancholic medieval interpretation immediately moved my heart. Fittingly for our journey it was written as a pilgrimage song. The text is most cryptic. It tells a story of Mary walking through a thorny, dark and leafless forest, carrying the holy promise under her heart. And then, while walking with the holy child, the thorns burst into flowers - roses.

So listen, as the Benedictines have it, with the ear of your heart. Read with the eyes of your heart. I am sure even without grasping the German words you will grasp the interior movement (e.g. just by following the flute).

Here are the words for you to follow along, in English and in German:

Maria walks amid the thorn,
Kyrie eleison.
Maria walks amid the thorn,
Which seven years no leaf has born.
Jesus and Maria.

What 'neath her heart doth Mary bear?
Kyrie eleison.
A guiltless child doth Mary bear,
Beneath her heart He nestles there.
Jesus and Maria.

Lo! roses on the thorns appear,
Kyrie eleison,
As the two are passing near
Lo! roses on the thorns appear.
Jesus and Maria.

(adapted by C Huff)

Maria durch ein' Dornwald ging.
Kyrieleison!
Maria durch ein' Dornwald ging,
der hatte in sieben Jahr'n kein Laub getragen!
Jesus und Maria.

Was trug Maria unterm Herzen?
Kyrieleison!
Ein kleines Kindlein ohne Schmerzen,
das trug Maria unter ihrem Herzen.
Jesus und Maria.

Da haben die Dornen Rosen getrag'n;
Kyrieleison!
Als das Kindlein durch den Wald getragen,
da haben die Dornen Rosen getragen!
Jesus und Maria.

Leaning into Mary. Listening Practice

Listen once. Listen twice. Then read along, with the language that suits you best. Then pray along. Then lean in. Into the thorny forest, which has not been greening for years, into the courage of Mary, who walks that forest, with a promise of hope “under her heart.” When she comes out of the forest, roses flower on thorny branches.

The old archetypes of pain, barrenness, sorrow, and rebirth are all here. We, too have a forest of thorns in our stories, bare now, still promising of new beginnings. As I am every Minnesota Spring surprised again, how greens burst out of bare branches, so is the mystery of incarnation. It transcends our sorrows in tender flowers. The holy child in the rubble.

Just listen and see.

A Blessing for all aching souls

Bring your sorrows.

bring your anger.

bring your helplessness.

Bring your hope.

Bring the rubble

of our war torn world

and your aching heart

hold them

tenderly

like you would hold a little child.

Hold them here.

Whisper, “Do not be afraid”

…

Amen

This post is part of our 12 Days of Christmas Series 2023/24: “Reclaiming Joy,” a Contemplative Journey towards the heart of Christmas. You can find all previous posts here. Here you can subscribe or to upgrade your subscription. To share your thoughts with us, respond to this email or comment below.

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1. If you want to go deeper, if you decide to bear witness you can listen to the whole sermon here. Do come back to the song above. Don’t stay alone with your anger and heartbreak. Hold it into Christmas.